My nipple is on Facebook.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
