Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
