never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
