Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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