I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He felt like a one man threesome
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
