My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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