and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
