Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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