I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
