Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
