so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
