That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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