Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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