since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
