It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
