her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
