I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
True strength comes from lack of pants
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
