Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
