Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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