just come out here and I will go home with you...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
