what day is it and did you see me today?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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