i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
