Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
