So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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