Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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