Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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