they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We left the knife in your bed.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
