I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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