Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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