Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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