I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
