just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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