he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
