So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
