needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
