I need help removing her.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
