Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
