somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
3pm strippers are depressing
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
