If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
