heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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