Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
