She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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