I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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