yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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