I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
