found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
