Where is the hickey?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
