the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
