she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
