Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
