do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
