Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
